raining ktula » China

Riding a scooter with a kid – Chinese style

ktula — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 18:14:16 +0000

I was on a tour bus on my way to Hangzhou (杭州) when i noticed this scooter riding close to the shoulder of a main street.

Scooter with a kid facing backward.

You can clearly see the kid sitting on a blue stool.

engrish.com moments in China

ktula — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 18:24:33 +0000

The builder of this bike not only promises that the bike is sporty and powerful, they also will do their best to “retum” you. (Seen in the lobby of a restaurant in Wuxi)

After using this hair dryer, your hair will not only be more “shining”, you can also slurp it up like a smoothy. (Seen in the lobby of a restaurant in Wuxi)

May be it is wise to consult a grammar book before putting this sign on all 20 shuttle carts? (Seen in one of the shuttle carts in Sanguo City, a studio created city)

Does one have to quack like a duck to eat at this “suack” bar? (Seen on the street of Suzhou)

I tasted the girly tomato and it was actually quite yummy. (Seen during breakfast at the Four Points Sheraton in Hangzhou)

The spell-checker must have been disabled on the day this sign was made. (Seen at the museum of beds in the town of Wuzhen)

The Gachi Boy pose

ktula — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 00:25:30 +0000

On Smelly and my long flight from Seattle to Tokyo, we watched several on-demand movies. The first movie that we both watched was “Gachi Boy: Wresting with a memory“. It was an uplifting and yet somewhat sad movie. Part of the movie was so touching that Smelly and i both got teary eyes. We both enjoyed this movie so much so that we decided to perform the Gachi Boy victory pose whenever we could on this trip.

The original:

The original Gachi Boy victory pose.

The imitations:

Gachi Boy pose in Singapore, in front of Tully’s, our Seattle home town franchise.

A really bad Gachi Boy pose in Shanghai’s Cheng Huang temple (城隍庙).

Gachi Boy pose on the shore of Lake Tai (太湖).

Gachi Boy pose in Suzhou (苏州).

Tag team Gachi Boy pose in Wuzhen (乌镇).

Gachi Boy pose near Hangzhou‘s (杭州) West Lake (西湖).

Take that all ya STDs!

ktula — Sun, 21 May 2006 17:10:05 +0000

The very first things i noticed after entering the bathroom in my room at the Fuzhou Lakeside Hotel were a few stacked packets of what i thought were condoms because of the large wordings in front of the packet that read “ONLY FOR MAN”. I was half right. The packet does contain a condom, as written across the top left corner of the packet in Chinese “comes with quality condom”, but i did not notice that until much later.

Flipping over to the back of the packet, and i kid you not, the exact description (including the original typos) is:

This product is specially designed for washing men’s genitals.

Ok, i have to admit that i was laughing so hard i almost dropped it into the toilet. This is no laughing matter because each packet of these genital-washing fluid costs RMB 10 (about USD 1.50).

As the pure Chinese medicinal preparation, it can quickly kill any kinds latent germs and pathgen.

I was kind of confused by what it is trying to say but on reading the Chinese portion of the description, apparently, they are trying to convey that “It is made purely with Chinese medicine. It can be used to kill germs, reduce itchiness, remove odor, moisturize and keep you healthy.” Ok, this is not so bad. But the next phrase completely floored me.

It’s suitable for using at home, on trip,or in swimming ,especially before or after sexual intercourse.

Wahahahahaha…….I totally lost it, laughing that is. Why would someone walk around at home with this applied all over his genitals? If your home is so unsanitary that you can contract STDs (i assume) just by walking around, may be having sexual intercourse should not be your highest priority. Gee, i can’t even go swimming without having to worry about what’s gonna happen to my ding dong? But fear not,

It can prevent any infectiousdiseases.

Holy cow! Take that all you wicked STD biyatches! What is that stuff made of anyway, concentrated sulphuric acid ??? What is this sizzling sound and a burning sensation that i am feeling now…In a bigger font at the bottom of the packet, this should allay any worries you have on losing a layer of your skin after applying this product:

No irritation to skin. Please use it at ease.

Now that is good to know. So how do i use it?

Directions: Use this product on and around the pudenda by massaging for 2-3 minutes, then rinse with clean water and wipe with a pasteurized wet towel .It can get a better effect to be used in bath.

What what what ??!! Pudenda? I have a pudenda ???!! According to the online Merriam Webter dictionary, pudenda is “the external genital organs of a human being and especially of a woman” and according to one of the definitions in the Urban Dictionary, it is also a slang for “Hot women, esp in large groups at social functions“. It made a lot more sense after i noticed a slightly different color but similar packet behind the first one i was looking at. This one is “ONLY FOR WOMAN”. The description at the back of the packet is exactly the same as the “ONLY FOR MAN”. The only difference is that it says “women’s genitals” instead of “men’s genitals”. It’s a relief knowing that i do not have a poon tang (Thanks to The Rock for letting me know about this phrase, and Eric – a former co-worker of mine – for shushing me and then explaining to me in a whisper what it meant after i yelled out to him at work “Hey Eric, what is poon tang pie?”).

Flipping back to the front of the packet on the “FOR MAN ONLY”, i noticed this at the bottom:

The 53rd of Miss World Final Appointed Products

What “Appointed Products”? It’s a little clearer after reading the Chinese part of it on top of the English one. It is trying to say “Official Product for the 53rd Miss World Pageant”. How does it help to sell it to men knowing that this product was applied to the pubes of all the female contestants (i assume all contestants in the Miss World Pageant are exclusively female)?

I wonder. Imagine the look on the poor bloke’s face whose air of invinsibility and immunity to STDs evaporated after going on a binge frequenting every known brothels in the neighborhood for a week and then wake up one morning to find rashes and what have you on his “frank and beans”. “It can prevent any infectiousdiseases” – please, the typo is a dead give-away.

I am going home !

ktula — Thu, 22 Dec 2005 06:32:10 +0000

Oooooh yes! My work is done in Beijing and i am finally going home. It has only been about 13 days since i left Seattle but it seemed like forever. Since i have been to China, it has been just work. My daily routine, which i am getting a little sick of, can be summarized as the following: hotel (wake up) – work – lunch – work – dinner – hotel (work and sleep). That said, i really enjoyed working with the IBMers assigned for this project.

Can’t wait to get home. Whistler here i come!

Back in Beijing, from Wuhan

ktula — Fri, 16 Dec 2005 14:47:45 +0000

After spending the last three days in Wuhan (武汉), i am back in freezing Beijing again. Prior to leaving Wuhan, Steve Yau, Du Xincun (IBMers from Hong Kong and Beijing respectively) and i got a short tour of Wuhan. Wuhan is actually the combination of two cities, Wuchang (武昌) and Hankou (汉口). Hankou is north of the Yangzi river while Wuchang is south of the river. In the old days, to go between the cities, you would have to catch a ferry. Now, there are two bridges that spanned across the mighty Yangzi river. I was told that eventually, there will be a tunnel and 5 other bridges across the river in Wuhan. The three days i was in Wuhan, there was this constant haze that surrounded the city. I am not sure if it was polluted air or the humidity but i suspect it was the combination of both.

beijing_wuhan_200512/P1010887.jpg

Our friendly cab driver was acting as a temporary tour guide for us. He explained the historical significance of this region. He took us on a tour of the East Lake (东湖) and dropped us off at the Yellow Crane Tower (黄鹤楼). He waited for us while we spent about 45 minutes at the Yellow Crane Tower. The original tower was destroyed toward the end of the Qing dynasty. This new one is rebuilt back in 1985 and it’s not located at the original location.

beijing_wuhan_200512/P1010910.jpg

On our way to the Wuhan airport, the cab driver pointed us to some really weird-looking houses on our right. They were weird in the sense that most of them looked like they were not completely built. Most of them, i did not see any doors or windows. The cab driver told us that the farmers in those area do not grow plants, they “grow” houses. The reason behind that is if you have houses on your land, when the city needs to use your land for other development, they will not only have to pay for your land, they will also have to pay for any houses on your land.

I have been eating great the last few days. In fact, i have been eating really well since i have been here. In every meal, i have to say more than 80% of the dishes were new to me. The IBM reps in Wuhan invited us and the client for two consecutive nights. I learned something during the second dinner. If the person giving you a toast is in a higher position than you, you should always tip your glass lower than his when the glasses meet. I did not know about this until the second dinner. God knows how many people i had offended during the first dinner!

Do you know that there are Chinese cigarettes that cost $8 USD a pack ? I did not believe it until it was shown to me. Apparently, these cigarettes are only made for consumption of party officials and they are not easily available to the general public.

Updated 1/2/2006
Wuhan is actually a combination of three cities, not two. The city i left out is Hanyang (汉阳).

Back in Beijing

ktula — Sun, 11 Dec 2005 15:50:09 +0000

I am back in Beijing. This is my first business trip since i started working at Availant less than 3 months ago. I am feeling excited and yet at the same time, a little nervous. The nervousness probably arises from the fact that i am representing Availant in front of a customer for the first time. This is almost the same feeling i had when i first went on a high availability implementation project in my previous job.

I was in Beijing back in July for about a week. That was my first ever trip to China. Now i am back again, though the weather is on the other extreme end now. Back in July, it was very hot and daily temperature was around the 90s (Fahrenheit). Last week, the average daily temperature in Beijing was in the 20s (Fahrenheit).

I am glad the Beijing Shangri-la has complimentary high-speed internet because i really do not like paying RMB 120 a night like what i did in July when i was staying at the Shanghai Hilton and the Pudong Renaissance.

Day Ten – Shanghai

ktula — Fri, 05 Aug 2005 14:07:19 +0000

I arrived in Shanghai in the morning on the overnight express train from Beijing. After checking into the Hua-dong hotel (華東), i took the advice of the subway assistant by taking the bus to Cheng-huang temple (城隍廟) directly. I was not really clear on what Cheng-huang temple was all about prior to arriving there. I thought Cheng-huang temple was only a temple. I found out that it was more than a temple. The Cheng-huang temple area included tons of commercial stores, the temple was only a very minor part of it. I saw global companies like Starbucks and Coca-cola there. It really was not what i had expected. It was not what i had intended to see.

While i was there, i had lunch at the Lu-bo-lou restaurant (绿波廊酒樓). This restaurant is supposed to be a really famous one – according to the pictures on the wall, i saw the English Queen, Bill Clinton and a few others. At first, i was led to a small room with people smoking at multiple tables. So i requested to move to a non-smoking area. The waitress brought me to a “non-smoking” area – a bigger area with less smokers. I ordered the grilled squid, stir-fry local veggie and the shanghai fried noodles. The grilled squid and the veggie were pretty good. The shanghai friend noodles came a little too late – i was extremely full.

As it was a pretty hot and humid day, i did not stay at the temple for very long. After spending about an hour an Nanjing Road, i went back to the Shanghai station. I wanted to go to Hangzhou (杭州) the next day so i went to a travel agency recommended by Wendy, the Shanghai SiHai Travel Service (上海四海旅行社). Because i only wanted to go to Xihu (西湖) and the Lou-Wai-Lou restaurant (樓外樓). The restaurant is supposed to be the most famous restaurant in Hangzhou. Because i was only going to the lake, the travel agent told me it was not necessary to take a tour with them and all i had to do was to take the train there. Since she had spent so much time discussing the trip with me, i felt bad not taking the tour with them, so i bought a tour to go to Suzhou (蘇州).

Getting the train ticket to go to Hangzhou at the Shanghai train station was another one of my bad experiences in China. People cutting in line, people yelling and screaming around me and people standing too close behind me. I am so used to my personal space in Seattle. I feel so uneasy with so many people standing around me.

Day Nine – Beijing

ktula — Fri, 05 Aug 2005 05:43:58 +0000

Since i was going back to Shanghai in the evening, i did not plan any excursions today. I went to the Oriental Shopping mall again at Wangfujing Road. Bought some pretty cool-looking shirts – my only purchase in China so far. While i was there, i made my third visit to Starbucks. It’s funny because i have never bought anything from Starbucks in the US, even though Seattle is literally lined with Starbucks. And now that i am in China, i have already gone to and bought drinks from three Starbucks. So far, i have tried the green tea iced Frappuccino. I have never acquired the taste for coffee but this drink is really good. Somehow i think Starbucks is probably not catering to most of the Beijing population. A tall size of green tea Frappuccino costs RMB 29 and that is about two meals for most people.

Rant and Rave
At around 1800, i walked to the Beijing train station. There was already a line waiting at the gate to the express train to Shanghai. At round 1830, the gate opened. Again, there was this mad dash to the train. I don’t get it. Everyone has an assigned bed, and it really does not make any difference if you get there early or late. This is one of the things that drives me insane. Another is when people are boarding the subway. For the longest time, i have known that it’s more efficient to let the departing passengers get off the subway before boarding it. But most people here (both in Beijing and Shanghai) don’t seem to know that. All they care about is to get on the freaking subway regardless if there are passengers trying to get off the subway. Just yesterday, i was lining up to get my ticket back to Shanghai. This guy behind me was standing a little too close for my comfort. He kept looking over my shoulder at the direction of the ticket booth. I really don’t understand it. It did not help him one bit by constantly looking over my shoulder to see what the ticket agent was doing. I have no clue what the hell he was thinking. In the end, i had to stare at him and asked him if there was anything that i could do to help him before he backed away a little. I have enjoyed my trip so much but it is little things like these that drive me crazy. I don’t think i can live in Beijing or Shanghai for another week!

On my return trip in the express train to Shanghai, i was sharing my cabin with a pretty girl (Sammy) from Haerbin (哈尔滨). She was quite friendly and told me about her desire to be a fashion designer in Paris.

Flashing Audi A8s

ktula — Fri, 05 Aug 2005 05:38:41 +0000

On my way back from the Great Wall, i saw an incoming a Audi A8L that was flashing what i call “cop lights” (similar to those unmarked police cruisers in the US) and blaring its siren. I thought the police department here must be pretty well off to be able to drive Audi A8s as their cruisers! Later near the Beijing train station, i saw yet another Audi A8 doing the exact same thing. Later, i found out from the tattoo artist that these vehicles are not police cruisers. These vehicles are actually for high-ranking officials in the government. They are built with flashing lights and sirens just so the drivers of these vehicles can clear the traffic. But seeing how the normal drivers here react to an exact police cruiser that had its “christmas lights” on, i have to say that they probably do not work. From what i have seen, drivers here do not give way to emergency vehicles. They really don’t give a rat’s ass about emergency vehicles at all.