Yeap, that is what a pullet (a young hen less than a year old) appears on some restaurant menus in China, according to this New York Times article. In preparation for the 2008 summer Olympics in Beijing, the Chinese authorities are trying to clean up some local bad habits like public spitting, no sense of lining up or queuing and really bad English translations on signs and restaurant menus. I have been to Beijing, the first time in the hot summer month of July in 2005 and the frigid cold winter in December the same year. I have personally witnessed the above-mentioned “bad habits”, including a few additional ones like this and that. But nothing beats what i found in my Fuzhou hotel room last June.
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On page 9 of the May 27-28th 2006 edition of the english China Daily, the caption under the picture reads:
China showcases its quatum leaps in space travel every two years at the Zhuhai aerospace show.
I’d like to see someone fly that self-propelled glider into the space.
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I was doing grocery shopping at the main shopping area in Fuzhou when i spotted this really cool wallet with the wellknown three-quarter view of Chairman Mao on it. I wonder what Chairman Mao would think knowing that his face is being placed on someone’s ass daily (for those that enjoy putting their wallets in the back pockets of their pants).
As an appreciation for buying this wallet, the sales guy gave me a keychain, yes with yet another Chairman Mao’s face.
Father of communism in China in a plastic wrapper with a look-alike of the flag of the #1 exporter of capitalism. What a contrast!
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If you ask me what i think of Fuzhou so far, i can sum up my response with the following three words:
airport –> hotel < –> work
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The very first things i noticed after entering the bathroom in my room at the Fuzhou Lakeside Hotel were a few stacked packets of what i thought were condoms because of the large wordings in front of the packet that read “ONLY FOR MAN”. I was half right. The packet does contain a condom, as written across the top left corner of the packet in Chinese “comes with quality condom”, but i did not notice that until much later.
Flipping over to the back of the packet, and i kid you not, the exact description (including the original typos) is:
This product is specially designed for washing men’s genitals.
Ok, i have to admit that i was laughing so hard i almost dropped it into the toilet. This is no laughing matter because each packet of these genital-washing fluid costs RMB 10 (about USD 1.50).
As the pure Chinese medicinal preparation, it can quickly kill any kinds latent germs and pathgen.
I was kind of confused by what it is trying to say but on reading the Chinese portion of the description, apparently, they are trying to convey that “It is made purely with Chinese medicine. It can be used to kill germs, reduce itchiness, remove odor, moisturize and keep you healthy.” Ok, this is not so bad. But the next phrase completely floored me.
It’s suitable for using at home, on trip,or in swimming ,especially before or after sexual intercourse.
Wahahahahaha…….I totally lost it, laughing that is. Why would someone walk around at home with this applied all over his genitals? If your home is so unsanitary that you can contract STDs (i assume) just by walking around, may be having sexual intercourse should not be your highest priority. Gee, i can’t even go swimming without having to worry about what’s gonna happen to my ding dong? But fear not,
It can prevent any infectiousdiseases.
Holy cow! Take that all you wicked STD biyatches! What is that stuff made of anyway, concentrated sulphuric acid ??? What is this sizzling sound and a burning sensation that i am feeling now…In a bigger font at the bottom of the packet, this should allay any worries you have on losing a layer of your skin after applying this product:
No irritation to skin. Please use it at ease.
Now that is good to know. So how do i use it?
Directions: Use this product on and around the pudenda by massaging for 2-3 minutes, then rinse with clean water and wipe with a pasteurized wet towel .It can get a better effect to be used in bath.
What what what ??!! Pudenda? I have a pudenda ???!! According to the online Merriam Webter dictionary, pudenda is “the external genital organs of a human being and especially of a woman” and according to one of the definitions in the Urban Dictionary, it is also a slang for “Hot women, esp in large groups at social functions“. It made a lot more sense after i noticed a slightly different color but similar packet behind the first one i was looking at. This one is “ONLY FOR WOMAN”. The description at the back of the packet is exactly the same as the “ONLY FOR MAN”. The only difference is that it says “women’s genitals” instead of “men’s genitals”. It’s a relief knowing that i do not have a poon tang (Thanks to The Rock for letting me know about this phrase, and Eric - a former co-worker of mine - for shushing me and then explaining to me in a whisper what it meant after i yelled out to him at work “Hey Eric, what is poon tang pie?”).
Flipping back to the front of the packet on the “FOR MAN ONLY”, i noticed this at the bottom:
The 53rd of Miss World Final Appointed Products
What “Appointed Products”? It’s a little clearer after reading the Chinese part of it on top of the English one. It is trying to say “Official Product for the 53rd Miss World Pageant”. How does it help to sell it to men knowing that this product was applied to the pubes of all the female contestants (i assume all contestants in the Miss World Pageant are exclusively female)?
I wonder. Imagine the look on the poor bloke’s face whose air of invinsibility and immunity to STDs evaporated after going on a binge frequenting every known brothels in the neighborhood for a week and then wake up one morning to find rashes and what have you on his “frank and beans”. “It can prevent any infectiousdiseases” - please, the typo is a dead give-away.
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Oooooh yes! My work is done in Beijing and i am finally going home. It has been only been about 13 days since i left Seattle but it seemed like forever. Since i have been to China, it has been just work. My daily routine, which i am getting a little sick of, can be summarized as the following: hotel (wake up) - work - lunch - work - dinner - hotel (work and sleep). That said, i really enjoyed working with the IBMers assigned for this project.
Can’t wait to get home. Whistler here i come!
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This is a true story. One of the IBMers i am working with told me what happened to his co-worker when he tried to increase the credit limit on his credit card. Because he was planning to travel to the US, he wanted to increase his credit limit from RMB 20,000 (USD $2,500) to RMB 40,000. So he called his credit card company to make his request. One week later, he received a Visa card issued by the same bank with a credit limit of RMB 10,000. A few days later, he received a MasterCard with the same credit limit. Within the next two weeks, he received two more credit cards from the same bank, each one with credit limit of RMB 10,000. So in total, he had received 4 credit cards with total credit limit of RMB 40,000!
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After spending the last three days in Wuhan (武汉), i am back in freezing Beijing again. Prior to leaving Wuhan, Steve Yau, Du Xincun (IBMers from Hong Kong and Beijing respectively) and i got a short tour of Wuhan. Wuhan is actually the combination of two cities, Wuchang (武昌) and Hankou (汉口). Hankou is north of the Yangzi river while Wuchang is south of the river. In the old days, to go between the cities, you would have to catch a ferry. Now, there are two bridges that spanned across the mighty Yangzi river. I was told that eventually, there will be a tunnel and 5 other bridges across the river in Wuhan. The three days i was in Wuhan, there was this constant haze that surrounded the city. I am not sure if it was polluted air or the humidity but i suspect it was the combination of both.
beijing_wuhan_200512/P1010887.jpg
Our friendly cab driver was acting as a temporary tour guide for us. He explained the historical significance of this region. He took us on a tour of the East Lake (东湖) and dropped us off at the Yellow Crane Tower (黄鹤楼). He waited for us while we spent about 45 minutes at the Yellow Crane Tower. The original tower was destroyed toward the end of the Qing dynasty. This new one is rebuilt back in 1985 and it’s not located at the original location.
beijing_wuhan_200512/P1010910.jpg
On our way to the Wuhan airport, the cab driver pointed us to some really weird-looking houses on our right. They were weird in the sense that most of them looked like they were not completely built. Most of them, i did not see any doors or windows. The cab driver told us that the farmers in those area do not grow plants, they “grow” houses. The reason behind that is if you have houses on your land, when the city needs to use your land for other development, they will not only have to pay for your land, they will also have to pay for any houses on your land.
I have been eating great the last few days. In fact, i have been eating really well since i have been here. In every meal, i have to say more than 80% of the dishes were new to me. The IBM reps in Wuhan invited us and the client for two consecutive nights. I learned something during the second dinner. If the person giving you a toast is in a higher position than you, you should always tip your glass lower than his when the glasses meet. I did not know about this until the second dinner. God knows how many people i had offended during the first dinner!
Do you know that there are Chinese cigarettes that cost $8 USD a pack ? I did not believe it until it was shown to me. Apparently, these cigarettes are only made for consumption of party officials and they are not easily available to the general public.
Updated 1/2/2006
Wuhan is actually a combination of three cities, not two. The city i left out is Hanyang (汉阳).
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